Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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