margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
