we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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