I don't think brook has ever known best
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
