He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
