her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
