Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
