if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
