Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
