you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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