these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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