I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
