check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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