Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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