Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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