If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
