Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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