Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
