All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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