I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
