he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
