I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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