I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
