Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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