He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
