Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
