if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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