I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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