Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
