I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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