I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
