I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
