We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
