i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
