awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
