The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
