Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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