What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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