i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He shit in the fireplace
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
