So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
