i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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