Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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