How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
