Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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