So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
