I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
