I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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