Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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