Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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