I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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