Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i think my mom watched the whole time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
