Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
